He Wants More Than a Dance

Q: I am going to formal with a junior and I am a freshman. I think he is cool, but he told my brother that he wanted to do stuff with me that I don’t want to do. I want to kiss him, but I don’t want him to take advantage of me anymore than I want. All I want is to make out with him and dance. What do I do? Do I kiss him even though I know he wants so much more than I am willing to give him?

First I have to ask, what’s your motivation to even kiss him or especially to “make out” with him? Is it just because it’s a formal dance and you’re flattered that a cool junior would ask you to go? A kiss is a very precious part of you, sis, and any guy should have to prove over time (lots of time) that he is committed to pursuing your beautiful, precious heart before you give that away. (Ideally, I would love if you would save that precious kiss for your wedding day!)

As a freshman girl, you have a lot of dances ahead of you. Don’t get into the habit now of giving parts of your heart or your body to a guy just because it’s a “special night.” Remember Proverbs 4:23: “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” So go get your groove on and have a good time, but make sure that this guy knows your boundaries before you find yourselves alone or in a compromising situation.

Let’s be real here. I really doubt this guy respects you, sis. If he told your brother–your own brother!–that he wants to do things with you that you know aren’t right, then it’s pretty obvious he wants to take advantage of you. That’s a two-way street, of course; if you don’t want him to “take advantage of [you] anymore than [you] want,” then you may want to ask yourself if you are tempted to cross some of those lines yourself. If you are, then I’d stay far away from him! Remember: your heart–and your lips–are precious, sis. Guard them well, even if it means going solo to a dance.


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Welcome to Life, Love and God—a place for teen girls to find answers! I’m Jessie. Consider me a spiritual “big sis”—someone who cares a ton for you and wants to help you thrive!