Q: My question is really embarrassing but I don’t feel like I can ask my mother. Is masturbation wrong? My new friends who are also Christians say no because it’s not having sex.
I’m proud of you for asking a brave question. True–no matter how amazing our moms are, there are some things that are just awkward to ask! But the fact that you want to know the truth, instead of assuming that your new friends are right, shows a lot of character.
I know there are people who disagree with me–even some fellow Christians–but I personally believe God’s standards for holiness leave no room for habitual masturbation. Tim Challies does a great job of explaining why in this LiesYoungWomenBelieve.com blog post: “God’s Truth on Your Secret Sexual Sin.” It’s worth a read.
I will say—as a girl who struggled with a sexual addiction for a long time—his article feels a little too academic to me. I think he’s right on in his explanation of why it’s a sin and how it can negatively affect us. But if masturbation is a sin that you struggle with, I want you to know that you’ll find no judgement and a whole lot of compassion and grace from me! In fact, I’ve written an entire book specifically for girls who struggle with “secret sins” (sins like sexual addiction, eating disorders, cutting, same-sex relationships, and substance abuse) called Unashamed: Overcoming the Sins No Girl Wants to Talk About. In it I share my story, and I offer the same hope and freedom that Jesus offered me. You can find out more, and watch the trailer, at Unashamed.Link.
You’ll also find more resources for overcoming secret sins of all kinds at LifeLoveandGod.com/unashamed.