Is “It” Okay If I Love Him?

Q: I need some advice from a Christian woman’s point of view. Do you think it’s wrong for me to be sexually physical with a guy that I really and truly think I love? The catch is that I have only been with him for 2 months. What’s your opinion?

Well, first of all, I’m glad you feel like it’s important to get a Christian perspective on this. ‘Cause, truthfully, I know you could hear exactly what you want to hear from Seventeen magazine or from your non-Christian friends. The world would tell you that if you really “love” the guy and you “feel you’re ready,” then making out or having sex with the guy is perfectly fine. But God has a very different point of view. He tells us to stay sexually pure until marriage, no matter how much we love the guy or think he’s “the one.” It doesn’t matter if you’ve been together two months or are engaged to be married, being sexually physical with a guy is wrong.

One lie Satan gets us girls to believe is that “all the girls that aren’t Christians get to have sex.” When we think about it that way, part of us feels like we’re missing out, but God doesn’t ask us to abstain from sex “just because,” like some test of obedience. The truth is, God opens our eyes to a better way to live! The girls who are having sex with their boyfriends now may seem happy, but if you could fast forward a few weeks, months or years, I guarantee that YOU will be the happy one for waiting, free of regret, broken hearts and all the baggage that comes from sleeping around. One day those girls will look at you and say to themselves, “Man, she gets to enter into marriage with her whole heart, totally pure. I wish I could be her.” So keep that in mind during the times Satan tempts you to be jealous. It may seem that you’re “missing out,” but I guarantee you’re not lacking any good thing by not being sexually physical. Satan would love you to think that you’re missing out on all the fun, but you’re not. Trust me!

Remember the other “visionary helps” that will help you keep your vision for a healthy future in sight: a big sis (who will remind you to stick to your guns), good Christian books (that remind you to keep your whole heart for the man God has for you), music and Scripture. Surround yourself with things that will remind you that contentment with godliness is great gain (that’s from 1 Timothy 6:6). And make sure you have some solid Christian friends who share the same morals you do. The temptations you’re facing now–and will face later–are hard enough without your best friends pressuring you too.

I hope that helps, sis. I love you and I’m praying for you!


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Welcome to Life, Love and God—a place for teen girls to find answers! I’m Jessie. Consider me a spiritual “big sis”—someone who cares a ton for you and wants to help you thrive!