He’s Sending Me Mixed Signals

Q: I’ve liked this guy S for two years. A few months ago I started consistently praying about it. Then one day—literally one morning after I prayed and asked God what to do about him—S texted me out of the blue. We talked all the time for like five weeks, about important stuff like life goals and plans. I don’t think he would take that much time and effort if he didn’t like me, but this week he hasn’t been responding to my texts like he used to. I just felt like God had put so many pieces together and was answering my prayers, and all of my friends and family were pretty sure it would work out, and now I’m just kind of lost as to why he’s not talking as much and the messages have pretty much stopped. What should I do?


Alright—here’s the deal. I had a neat-and-tidy answer planned, complete with helpful bullet points (who doesn’t love bullet points?), but it’s all getting thrown out the window because tonight as I sit here in the stillness praying for God’s words and not my own, this is what comes to mind…

When you started “consistently praying about it,” what was your prayer? Was it “God, please-oh-please make this work out. Pretty pleeeease?” Or was it “Lord, show me Your will for me and S”? In the little bit that I’ve gotten to know you (which is all of one email—grin), I have a feeling that as much as you hoped God would pair the two of you together, deep down inside you were really trusting that God would do whatever was best for you and S. I’m assuming that you laid your hopes and dreams at God’s feet, and were still willing for God to steer you in whatever direction He knew was best. And I’m also going to go out on a limb here and wager that your deepest heart’s desire is still that God would write your love story, with or without S as the romantic hero. And if all that is the case, then the mixed signals are just as much an answer to prayer as the sudden attraction was.

I know it hurts and I know it’s confusing. And I’m not saying I know whether this is the end of the story with S, ’cause I totally don’t! But as a big sis looking in from the outside, I can see how God might be using what feels like a really lame development in the story to say yes to your deepest heart prayer of all: That He would show you what He wants for your life.

I remember so clearly a time when I had to let go of the hope of a relationship with this guy that I had been praying about and really thought was finally working out after years of being friends. And the sudden drop in communication stunk. Big time. I was confused because I thought God was bringing us together, but apparently this guy didn’t get the memo. So I did my best to let go and live my life.

A year later, God allowed our paths to cross again, and that time I didn’t have to force it. It was the right time. And the year after that? Well, we got married, and the rest is history.

I know a story like that hardly helps you let go of hope for now—lol!—but I share it just to remind you that 1) God’s timing isn’t our timing, and 2) He knows just what you really need. You can trust Him, which is the key ingredient in holding your hope for you and S loosely. God is answering your prayers, sis, I am sure of that. Whatever happens with S (now or in the future), you can be 100 percent sure that God will give you only the best gifts.



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Welcome to Life, Love and God—a place for teen girls to find answers! I’m Jessie. Consider me a spiritual “big sis”—someone who cares a ton for you and wants to help you thrive!