My Friend Stole My Crush

Q: One of my best friends just started dating the guy I like, despite of me and my feelings. I’m having a really hard time forgiving her for that!

I know you may adamantly disagree with me, and I know this will hurt (at least) a little, but here’s my two cents. Please know that I give it in love, and out of experience!

I don’t think your friend has done anything wrong in going out with him, even if she knew that you liked him. Just because a girl has feelings for a guy, he is not automatically off limits to everyone else on the planet. Of course, that friend should have the utmost care and respect for your feelings, being honest with you and letting you know how hard a decision it was for her to risk hurting her friend to date someone she really liked. I don’t know how she has acted toward you in all of this, so if she has hurt you by secrecy or mean words, by all means talk it out with her. But if your only bitterness toward her is that she got to date the guy that you like… if that’s the case, I think you’d be wise to take your hurt to God and let Him heal your heart, rather than blame her. King Solomon had some good stuff on this topic:

Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends. (Proverbs 17:9, New Living Translation).

Sensible people control their temper; they earn respect by overlooking wrongs. (Proverbs 19:11, NLT)

If you’re still struggling with jealousy, take some time this week to think about and pray through these verses too:

A peaceful heart leads to a healthy body; jealousy is like cancer in the bones. (Proverbs 14:30, NLT)

We’re blasted by anger and swamped by rage, but who can survive jealousy? (Proverbs 27:4, NLT )

We’re in no hurry, GOD. We’re content to linger in the path sign-posted with your decisions. Who you are and what you’ve done are all we’ll ever want. (Isaiah 26:8, The Message)

You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are–no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought. (Matthew 5:5, The Message)

And religion does make your life rich, by making you content with what you have. (1Timothy 6:6, Contemporary English Version)

I’ve kept my feet on the ground, I’ve cultivated a quiet heart. Like a baby content in its mother’s arms, my soul is a baby content. (Psalm 131:2, The Message)

Trust God. He knows what you need, when you need it, right? That includes knowing when the time will be right to bring a relationship into your life. In the meantime, focus on the One who knows and loves you better than any crush ever could!


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Welcome to Life, Love and God—a place for teen girls to find answers! I’m Jessie. Consider me a spiritual “big sis”—someone who cares a ton for you and wants to help you thrive!