Letting Go of Perfect

Q: A year ago I met an amazing guy. He’s insanely sweet, humble, very caring, and always full of joy. He’s the type of guy that people love being around. Later on I found out why: he’s a Christian. A true follower. I was never really introduced to God as a child, but because of this guy, I started to become more interested. I read the Bible almost every day for four months and I started to follow Christ on my own.  It’s been a year now, and I am completely infatuated with this guy, because of who he is and what he’s done for me. I really like him, but I don’t think he feels the same way about me. I hate that I get jealous when he talks to other girls. Should I just let him go and stop talking to him completely? Because I feel like it’s destroying me. I try reading Scripture to help stop these feelings, but when I see him they always come back.

Reading through your question I’m reminded how God gets a hold of His own in so many different ways! No matter whether you ever have a romantic relationship with this cutie or not, HOW AMAZING that you have a divine relationship with your true Prince–Jesus Christ–because of having met this guy.

That said, I know (boy do I know!) how deep those feelings for him must run. And it kills to care for someone so deeply when you know they don’t feel the same way. But, having been in your shoes in the past, I can give you a few tips to (hopefully) help you on your journey.

1) Let him go. Now don’t tune me out just yet! Even though you care about him so, SO much, you also deserve a guy who is going to be head over heels for you. As amazing as this guy is, he’s not the one for you unless he cares enough about your precious heart that he’s going to pursue you like nobody’s business.

2) Don’t settle for less. Just because this godly cutie boy isn’t chasing you around, doesn’t mean that you should settle for anyone less than sold out for God. Now that you’ve gotten a glimpse of what a guy should be, keep holding out for someone who has all those characteristics.

3) Become all you can be. No, I’m not talking about joining the army! lol I’m talking about becoming the all-time best woman of God you can be. Cause guess what? Not only will you have all the benefits of a deeper relationship with God, but you’ll also be becoming just the sort of girl that a godly guy will be looking for.

4) Saturate yourself in God. This is tied to number three. One of the best ways to become a five-star girl is to do exactly what you’re doing (reading Scripture). Even if it doesn’t feel like it’s “sinking in” right away, God promised that His Word won’t return to Him void. In other words, it’s going to do something in your heart, even if you don’t see the results right away! If you haven’t already, you might want to do a Bible study on jealousy too. If you’re not sure where to start, go to Bible Gateway and type in the word “jealousy.” There are tons of good books out there too that teach us to keep our eyes focused on Christ. If you need some suggestions, check out the “Books” board on the Life, Love and God Pinterest.

I hope that helps a little, sis. I’m praying that you’ll be able to keep your eyes focused on God, even in the middle of those crazy feelings. Hope to hear from you again!


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Welcome to Life, Love and God—a place for teen girls to find answers! I’m Jessie. Consider me a spiritual “big sis”—someone who cares a ton for you and wants to help you thrive!