He Doesn’t Know I Exist

Q: There’s this guy at my school I like. He seems to be perfect. He’s funny and nice.  He even goes to my church. The only problem is that he doesn’t know I exist. Should I keep worrying over him, or should I just move on?

Great question. Let me start by telling you a little story…
Once upon a time I had a mad crush on a guy who seemed to be “perfect.” He was the star basketball player and super cute. To top it all off, he was shy, and since I didn’t know much about him (because I rarely even heard him speak!) I was left to imagine all the details of who he was in my giddy little brain. (In other words, I made him out to be everything that I wanted him to be!) I did the classic girl moves, but he never seemed to notice. I smiled extra big whenever he was around… nothing… I went to ALL of his games… still nothing… I made sure to sit as close to him as I could at our school’s chapel (by “accident” of course)… but still I’m not sure if he even knew my name. Eventually–yeah, like a year later–I finally gave up dreaming about and chasing after this “perfect” guy because I realized something: He wasn’t perfect for me.

How do I know?

Because if he was, he would have noticed the beauty in my heart. He would have seen something irresistible in me and he would have done everything he could to make me his. He would have pursued me, not the other way around.

So I gave up my dream of Mr. Dreamy and instead focused on my relationship with God. I found my comfort in Him, spent less time drooling over the basketball court and more time seeking Christ. And when God knew I was ready, He did send along someone who saw in me all those things I had cultivated in my heart. I can tell you, my husband was worth the wait!

So my advice to you, sis, is to wait for a guy who is going to see the inward and outward beauty in you. Don’t waste as much time as I did wishing and hoping and trying to get something that wasn’t God’s best for me. God’s best for you will be worth the wait. And in the meantime, spend your time, emotions and energy getting to know God more, so you’ll be in line with His will for your life.

Much love, sis,

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Welcome to Life, Love and God—a place for teen girls to find answers! I’m Jessie. Consider me a spiritual “big sis”—someone who cares a ton for you and wants to help you thrive!