Q: I’m like most girls, I guess, but for some reason lately, I have felt really lonely and my desire to have a boyfriend is growing. Is this just a phase, or is there something wrong with me? And what can I do to get rid of this feeling? (Not that I wouldn’t love to have a guy. I just don’t want to obsess over it.)
Loneliness is something I struggled with off and on all through high school and college. I, unfortunately, didn’t see that my loneliness was what drove me to want to be in relationships all the time. (The fact that you see the connection between the two is a good thing!) So when a guy would take notice of me, I jumped at the chance to be in a relationship–even if it wasn’t the right relationship. Because I got into those relationships for the wrong reasons, they never filled that hole in my heart. When they ended, I just felt even lonelier.
Here’s a hard truth for ya: a guy can never completely fulfill us, sis. The sooner we learn to let God be everything to us, the sooner that loneliness will go away. No, it may not completely disappear, but when God is truly the center of your life, you can look that naggy little loneliness in the eyes and say, “I’m not going to give in to you!” You can be content not being in a relationship even when you do feel a little (or a lot!) lonely, knowing that God is everything that you need, and that even if you were in a relationship, it wouldn’t fix the real problem.
Love,
