Q: Recently I’ve been very apathetic and hopeless concerning my faith. I am constantly worried that something bad will happen as I go into Junior year, and I feel like I am losing Jesus. I don’t understand God’s love for me. I pray, but I have no drive to grow strong in my faith and I have adopted an “I don’t care attitude,” which is both new and scary for me. I was wondering if you have ever experienced this feeling, and if you have any advice for finding God again.
The fact that you’ve even written me because you’re concerned about your apathy toward God is a good thing! If you were completely hopeless, I don’t think you would have ventured to the Life, Love & God website. And I’m glad you did!
Let’s see… Yep, I’ve definitely felt apathetic before. I went through this crazy phase of about a year where I was totally angry with my parents, dreamt of running away, and was just generally moody and down. Looking back on it now, I can see that a lot of my heart issues stemmed from the music I was listening to and the people I was hanging out with (not to mention the whole “trying to figure myself out thing” that comes in the teen years). Might sound crazy, but those two influences alone–media and friends–can have a huge effect on our general psyche. I’m not saying the root of your hopelessness about faith and apathy toward God are definitely linked to your music or friends, but it wouldn’t hurt to ask yourself whether there are any outside influences playing into your feelings.
I think the worry (that something bad will happen) is just a symptom of the bigger picture. When our hearts are in the right place with God, worry is far less a temptation. The “I don’t care” attitude too. In fact, I think you hit the nail right on the head in your own question–the root of the apathy, hopelessness and fear are the same, namely that you don’t fully understand God’s love for you, sis! I’d encourage you to start there. If you need some guidance in figuring it out, I totally recommend the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan. He’s a guy who had a huge influence in my life as a teen, helping me understand just how amazing God’s love is for me (he used to speak at a summer camp I went to). Anyway, if you’re serious about starting somewhere, I think that woud be a good spot. You can also check out the Deeper page right here at Life, Love and God.
Growing in your faith is a process, and I want to be here for you through it. I won’t always have the best answers, but I do know from experience that it’s always best to follow God and live life His way. A relationship with God is worth the effort. He has blessings up His sleeves you can’t even imagine!