Should I Date an Older Guy?

Q: I like this guy, but he is four years older than me. Is an age difference like that a big deal?

adropHere’s my take on the age difference thing: God isn’t as concerned about how many years apart you are as He is about a guy’s character, faith and intentions toward you. So that’s the good news (as long as the guy you’re asking about has good character, faith and intentions, that is!). But a girl also has to be smart when it comes to age differences too, because a teen does a lot of “growing up” in a short amount of time. A freshman and a senior are at different places in life, you know? For that reason, you have to be really careful. I went out with a senior when I was a freshman, and it took me all of two weeks to realize that he wasn’t the “quality” guy I thought he was and had to break things off.

Now, a three- or four-year age difference when you’re in your twenties or thirties isn’t nearly as big of a deal. In fact, my husband is ten years older than I am! We never could have dated when I was 14 and he was 24… that would just be wrong! Ha! But when I got to my twenties, we became best friends. By the time we got married, my dad used to joke that maybe someday Paul would catch up to me in maturity. The older you get, the less age plays a part in your relationships.

If you don’t already have a copy of Crushed: Why Guys Don’t Have to Make or Break You, it has some tips for what to look for in a guy, how to become the right kind of girl, and how to set clear boundaries in a relationship. It might be helpful as you think through what kind of guy is worth your beautiful heart!


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Welcome to Life, Love and God—a place for teen girls to find answers! I’m Jessie. Consider me a spiritual “big sis”—someone who cares a ton for you and wants to help you thrive!