Q: I like this Christian guy who said he likes me back, but lately he doesn’t seem to anymore. Something tells me not to give up; I don’t want to lose a good thing. But it hurts so bad to keep trying for him, not knowing if he still cares. What should I do?
First of all, I’m sorry that this hurts, sis. I’ve been there, too, and I know how much you want it to work out. As much as it hurts, I think you should give up what you want and wait to see what God wants. This is a daily thing; to sacrifice our own will for the Father’s will. But take heart–you’re not alone, sis. Jesus did exactly that. He gave up His will to follow His Father’s will, and tells us to do the same. He said, “If any of you wants to be My follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow Me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for My sake, you will save it” (Luke 9:23-24). Christ sacrificed His will to do the Father’s will. We need to do the same thing. No, a literal cross probably isn’t in your future, but you will likely be asked to do things, or give up…people, for example…that go against what you want.
The fact that you aren’t sure of this guy’s feelings shows he may not be ready for a relationship. Remember not to “try for” guys. A true man of honor and class (a man worth waiting for!) will pursue you; you shouldn’t have to guess what his intentions are toward you.
Above all, sis, trust God. Trust that His timing is perfect. Because no matter how good this “good thing” seems, God has the best “good things” in store for you. He knows what’s best for you, and if there’s an amazing man in your future, God will bring that man around when He feels it’s time. Don’t trick yourself into believing you’re losing a good thing if your crush has moved on; God is the best thing, and He cares for you so deeply! If this guy is truly the best thing for you, God will bring him around in due time. I just don’t want you to spend your time and thoughts worrying and wanting and dreaming about someone who may not return your love. Spend your time and thoughts on Jesus instead, and He will sustain you.
Give your burdens to the Lord, and He will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.
I know that nothing I’ve said can stop this from hurting right now, but I promise that if you set your heart on Jesus, He will use time to heal your heart. Heartbreak never gets any easier, but trusting Jesus in the midst of heartbreak does. You said that something tells you not to give up; I tell you not to give up on Jesus in the midst of the pain. Trust Him in spite of the pain, knowing that He will take care of you. Spend time with Jesus; if you have a journal or diary, write to Him.
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.
I’ll be praying for your heart tonight!