Hard Time Saying “No”

Q: I am a virgin and I am going to stay that way until I get married, but lately I have been having a hard time saying no. There’s a lot of pressure, and when I’m with my guy I want to but I know I shouldn’t. I guess I just want to know why it has to be so hard. Can you help?

You said “there’s a lot of pressure” to do things physically. Where’s that pressure coming from, sis? I’m guessing it’s from the guy you’re with. If he’s pressuring you to do ANYthing–whether it’s holding hands, having sex, or anything in between–he’s not respecting you for who you are or prizing and protecting your beautiful, precious heart. Bottom line. You have to ask yourself if you’re compromising the boundaries you’ve set (emotionally, physically or spiritually) for this guy. He may be really nice, but are you sure that’s the kind of guy you want to give your heart to?

On the flip side, if you’re one of us girls who has a hard time saying no, you have to be extra careful about entering in to ANY relationship. Proverbs 25:28 says, “”A person without self-control is like a house with its doors and windows knocked out.”” In other words, if you don’t have the strength to say no, you’re in a very vulnerable place! Guys are going to take advantage of that–unfortunately, even some Christian guys. You may want to consider taking some time away from guys completely until God can replace those doors and windows in your heart, protecting you from any guy who would compromise your purity.

I know these are strong words, sis, but I just want God’s best for you, and that includes waiting for a guy who will respect the boundaries you’ve established in your life. (Which means you have to establish boundaries if you haven’t already!)


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Welcome to Life, Love and God—a place for teen girls to find answers! I’m Jessie. Consider me a spiritual “big sis”—someone who cares a ton for you and wants to help you thrive!