Q: About four months ago, I confessed to cutting and purging. I have stopped both, but I still struggle with body image quite severely. Is there any way I can learn to like my body?

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Girl, I am SO proud of you for doing battle with your secret sin! I know how the natural consequences of those sins can linger, and I want to talk about that. But first, excuse me for a moment while I celebrate this HUGE victory in your life!!! Keep up the fight to live free.

So there’s a reason why I wrote Backwards Beauty: How to Feel Ugly in 10 Simple Steps right after Unashamed: Overcoming the Sins No Girl Wants to Talk About. And it wasn’t just because I needed something lighthearted after getting so deep with Unashamed. 🙂 Here’s the deal: A lot of times there’s a big connection between our secret sins (sins like eating disorders, sexual addiction, cutting, same-sex relationships, substance abuse, etc.) and a characteristic that’s hard-wired into our DNA as girls. It’s part of the recipe God used when He made the very first woman, Eve, and you and I don’t fall far from the tree. That “something” is a desire to be desired. We girls want to be wanted, and we want it bad. We want to know that:

  • We’re beautiful.
  • We’re lovely and intriguing.
  • We’re worth pursuing.

When we don’t feel beautiful, we don’t feel lovable; and when we don’t feel lovable, we don’t feel like we’re worth much. And that’s a big problem.

See, through the media, we’re getting an IV drip of what “beautiful” is. Never mind that culture’s narrow definition is about as attainable for most of us as becoming a blue orangutan. We still buy into this lie that there’s only one definition of beautiful, and we should do/spend/invest everything we can to claim it. Even those of us who know better still live like we believe it. (#BlakeSheltonfingerpoint) That’s why I made it my mission to uncover the specific ways we girls undermine the beauty hiding right under our noses so we could find a better way to live. The mountain of stuff I found is just too big to cover in a blog post, but in Backwards Beauty, we go on a journey through ten ways many of us actually make ourselves feel ugly. Some of them might surprise you.

Is it possible to learn to like your body? Absolutely. Is it hard to get there? Most of the time. Does it take the power of the Holy Spirit? All of the time. Is there a big learning curve that sometimes take years to get through? Yes there too. But I would love to share some of the practical tips and spiritual lessons that have brought me to a healthy view of my own body and beauty, so that you too can shine bright and praise God for the beautiful way He has made you. If you’re interested, you’ll find details at  BackwardsBeauty.com or my Books page.

The average girl spends thousands of dollars in her teen years alone chasing “beautiful.” The price of a book that could revolutionize your view of your body and beauty seems like a wise investment to me. But… if if turns out to be a waste of your money? You just shoot me an email and I will personally refund you. Promise.

Whatever you do, don’t ignore the problem. Our insecurities rarely go away on their own. They only get bigger, or change forms. So whether you get a copy of the book or find help elsewhere, make it your mission to grow in this area. Because there’s one thing I know for sure: A girl’s view of her body and beauty influences big decisions in her life. If you want to live your best life, it’s important to understand just how “worth it” you are!

Love,

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