Q: I know that God is helping me get through the pain of my boyfriend breaking up with me.  But it hurts so much—I can’t stop crying. Knowing that he has forgotten about me and moved on makes me so sad and it’s making me go crazy.  I started to drink, hoping the pain will go away, but my heart feels like it’s ripping apart because of him.

Aw, sis! I am so sorry that it hurts so much. Breakups are never easy, but it sounds like this one has cut you especially deep. You have totally expressed what so many girls feel after a breakup. When you have given so much of your heart to someone, if they walk away it can make you feel worthless, especially if you have found your worth in that person. Hear me on this one: Drinking will not change the way you feel. (I’m sure you’ve already discovered that!) That’s like putting a Band Aid on a greased watermelon–it ain’t gonna stick.

The only way to allow your heart to heal is to start getting your worth from the right place–from the God who created you and adores you just as He made you, faults and all. Guys come and go, sis, but your Divine Suitor will never stop pursuing you, will never stop rejoicing in your beauty, will never stop doing cartwheels when you return His love. You are made for Him, not for some guy who doesn’t know what he has let go.

Your heart is going to hurt for a while, there’s no way around that. But your sadness doesn’t need to consume you. Allow God to turn your hurt into a thing of beauty–allow Him to make beauty from ashes–by laying your bruised heart at the foot of the Cross and asking Christ to forgive you for finding your worth in another. He loves (absolutely loves) to wrap His strong arms around us when we’re hurting. Psalm 34 has been a source of encouragement and (tempered) joy after more than one difficult breakup. I encourage you to read it tonight, and then memorize verses 18-19 this week.

I will be praying for you this week, sis, and please, please feel free to email again if you’re having a hard day or have more questions, or need more verses. I’m here for you!

Love,